Friday, January 25, 2013

Life's Embarassing Moments!

When I was about 7 yrs old, my mother had a couple of major surgeries that set her back for quite some time.  She had 5 children of her own, usually a couple of foster children as well, and a home that pretty much had a revolving door for visiting relatives.  My parents decided that she needed help with us kids and the cooking and housework, so they asked my aunt's mother to come and stay with us until Mom could get back on her feet.

Mrs. Moeller was a large German woman, in her 60's or so.  She was a widow, all her children were married and gone, and she spoke very broken English.  She was a fantastic cook, she could keep the older boys in line with just a look, and she cared for us younger children with an efficiency of a drill Sargent... but she was not unkind in any way.  She had long conversations with herself  (mostly is German) and sometimes she'd even argue with herself in both German and English - so she was a source of entertainment to us without her even knowing it.

She snored.  I know this because I had to sleep with her!  I had the only double bed with only one occupant, so when a woman came to stay - I had to share my bed.  Every night her bedtime routine was the same, she would don her little ruffled night hat, climb in bed and fold her hands across her very ample chest.  She would mumble her prayers in German and within minutes she would be snoring.  She snored like a man- in fact she probably could have out-snored any man.  She snored so hard the frenulum in her mouth vibrated like it was caught in a cross wind, the sound of her snoring resembled a Studebaker backfiring as it travelled down the road.  It drove me nuts, but it also made for some very lively moments with my friends (children can be so cruel)!

Fast forward 50 yrs....

I usually have a nap when I get home from work every day.  I am up at 5:30 every morning, and by the time 4pm rolls around I find I really am in need of a quick nap.  So I get in my sweats, have something warm to drink, then I cover up with my afghan, put my headphones on my head and select the play list on my ipod with the quiet tunes.... I don't usually hear the end of the first song...

Have you ever been asleep and could hear what was going on around you?  Well yesterday I could hear VERY loud snoring!  It actually woke me up, but after I was awake I could remember hearing it in my sleep.  I opened my eyes, looked around, and really couldn't help noticing that I was alone!

I WAS SNORING!!!!!  I was snoring to the likes of a Viper with a very bad muffler.  OMG!  The first person who came to mind was Grandma Moeller!!!

Gary has been telling me that I snore, and I thought he was just playing with my mind.  Well it seems I might have to dish out some apologies...

So here goes....

Grandma Moeller (In Heaven)- Thank you for taking such good care of my family, and I'm sorry I made fun of your snoring to every child on my street!

Gary - Okay - so I snore.... so now you get to kick my shins several times a night without guilt!

Have good weekend everyone - see you next week!

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