Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Oh Poor Me!

I was dreading this morning all weekend.  Why, you ask?  Well because I am a spoiled little princess who doesn't like change, that's why!

The reason I was dreading the morning was that for the first time in about 30 years I had to take the bus to work.  In actual fact I will be taking the bus back and forth to work for an undetermined time... I know - poor me.

Truth to tell - I stressed for nothing.  After waking every hour through the night, because I thought I wouldn't be able to get up 45 minutes earlier, I shot out of bed when the alarm sounded this morning, and hit the floor running.... I exaggerate... walking briskly... well okay - walking!  I had intended to leave the house at 6:55 in order to catch the 7:05 bus, but I was ready to leave by 6:40 - so out I went into the dark morning, I walked 3 minutes to the bus stop, and don't you know there was the bus.  I arrived at work at 7:07.  Okay well, that is a bit early, so tomorrow I will not hit the floor running... Ha!!

There was almost no one on the buses I took, the drivers were very cheerful, and it was kind of relaxing to slouch in the seat with my ipod , listening to George singing "Hello Darlin" in my ear, knowing someone else was having the joy of dealing with the stupid drivers in our city!

And if after all this I was still tempted to feel sorry for myself, I thought of the reason I was now taking the bus to work.  That would be my wonderful husband Gary.

Gary's vision has deteriorated to the point where he can no longer drive, and I know it killed him to see me walk out the door this morning to catch a bus. Being a 1 car family, our normal morning routine would have been I drive me to work, he takes the car home, and at the end of the work day, he drove to get me, and I drove home.  He can't do even this little bit of driving any longer.

He should be the one feeling sorry for himself, after all he now is truly house-bound.  His day will be spent in and around the house, aside from a dog walk or two each day.  But Gary doesn't do self-pity well - in fact he doesn't do it at all.  He takes a deep breath, and moves forward.  His life is ever changing, and not for the better, and yet he finds ways to turn it positive.

So, I will not feel sorry for myself, and I won't feel sorry for him either, because he won't let me..

And who knows, taking the bus may become just another routine part of my work day, like it is for so many people in the world.  I do know that it will get me walking more, because on nice days I intend to walk home from my transfer site, which is about a mile from home.  After all - who can resist George singing "Hello Darlin" in your ear several times a day....

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