Monday, February 10, 2014

What a Difference A Day Makes - 24 little hours!

What a difference a day makes!  The song tells how 24 little hours can make a difference between grey skies and sunshine, the blues and happiness, no love, and love.... how true those lyrics are!  And for the record, I love Dinah Washington's rendition of this song best of all...

Last Monday was really a day that made a difference in my life.  I got up as usual at 5:30, got ready and walked into work at 7:00 AM,  to find my manager and a professionally dressed man waiting for me outside my office door.  They followed me into my office, closed the door and proceeded to inform me that I was being terminated immediately - my job was being outsourced to another company, and I was to vacate the premises immediately.  I was walked to the main floor entrance where I waited alone for my husband to come and pick me up and take me home.

Sixteen years - gone - in a blink of an eye!

I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to any of my long term co-workers, who have been my friends and family for 16 years; I did not get to collect my personal belongings... I ceased to exist.

Well that was a week ago, and in the week that has passed I have experienced emotions that are very foreign to me.

Anger comes to mind first.  I have never been an angry person - I loathe anger of any kind - there is no place for it in my life - or there wasn't until last week... now it seeps in to everything I do - and I hate it.

Shame.  What have I got to feel shamed about?  Absolutely nothing - but the mere act of being treated like someone who did wrong, has put the notion that perhaps I am not a good person firmly in my mind.

Fear.  Lots and lots of fear.  I am closer to 59 yrs than 58 - where am I going to be able to find another job at my age, that will help me sustain my mortgage, family... my life as it was last Monday?

Sorrow.  When will I be able to tell my friends face to face about my weekend, about my bad haircut experience, about my dog's latest silliness?

I know some of my co-workers will read this, so I am adding the last part for them.

My friends;

Thank you for all you have been to me.  You were the sisters I never had.  You laughed with me, you cried with me, you held my hand and my heart and walked with me when I had breast cancer and when my husband was going blind.  You were my cheering section, when I lost 70 lbs.  You have been my family, and I love you all.   God Bless You All...   Stay safe, be happy, and I hope we meet again...

That's the difference a day makes....

Take it Away, Dinah!

1 comment:

  1. Dale it is your journey, there is a door that will open for you next. What lays beyond that door, you will discover, another step in that journey. Emotions are what makes us human and I think to feel them as you did the past week is perfectly acceptable. I think as scary as it may seem right now and as strange as it may feel right now it will round itself out. Life takes us all by surprise, I think this is life giving an opportunity to see the trees. What is it that you truly want to do....
    This is somebody I have enjoyed and found helpful in the last little while. I want to share it for you. Maybe it will help maybe it will simply be a you tube video..... :)